Faith

Let Your Life Speak

Children are unique in every way you can possibly imagine. Some are unashamed to ask fifty-one questions about something or someone they know nothing about while others are not. Some are unafraid to love on you from the very first moment they meet you; while it takes others just a few moments to warm up to you. But, one of the most common traits I find in children is how observant they truly are.

While on my trip in Dominican Republic, my team and I had the privilege to visit an orphanage. Let me just say before I continue that these children are the sweetest and most courageous kids I have ever met. I remember on the drive there I was mentally and emotionally preparing myself to encounter children who were going to be closed to having us with them for the day. Believing that we would have to work extra hard for them to open up and get involved in what we had planned for them, I ended up surprised because they were the complete opposite. They were so willing.

I remember our leaders announcing to us that we were around the corner from the orphanage and I was in the car thinking “okay here we go,” “prepare yourself.” When one of the workers opened the gate, our vans pulled in one by one, and as we pulled in and parked the girls from the orphanage began coming out one by one. Filled with curiosity, joy and excitement, they began approaching our vans wanting to know the faces of those who had arrived.

One little approached the van I was in, as soon as I opened my door she was eager for me to come out and play with her. She was so excited in fact that she began yanking at my arm, saying, “Come on, come one. Get out we have to go.” It was at that moment that I had to tell her I could not get out just yet because I had to wait for them to get me my chair. She then stopped, looked at me, and said to those putting my chair together, “Hurry, hurry, she is waiting!”

She waited by the van until they took me out and brought me inside the orphanage. From the moment, I stepped out of the van this little girl did not want to leave my side. At one moment, she got behind my chair and began pushing me around the empty chapel located in the orphanage. As she was pushing me around, I did what I know best; lifted my hands and started yelling “wee.” Yes, you can conclude that I very much enjoyed the small adventure.

Then came lunch time, we were all sitting at the table and a little girl comes up next to me. I know she is curious and I am there patiently waiting for all her questions. Moments later, she began asking, “What happened to you?” I explained as best as I could to a child her age recalling the events that led to where I find myself today. After a moment passed, she asked, “Are you angry about what happened to you?” I looked at her and said, “No, I am no longer angry.” She asked “Why?”, I said “Because I know that God has a special plan for my life, for that is why I am able to be happy, laugh and smile.” She gave me the simplest, yet content smile I have ever seen a child give me in a conversation like this.

I barely knew her and she barely knew me, but it was as if in that very moment, she and I connected. It was the most unforgettable moment because I know that in that moment I was being an example and speaking life. Letting this little girl know that it does not matter what situation you came from, God can and will take you out to make you into something much greater. He will use your past as a platform to help those you encounter in your future.

A child understands and comprehends more than we give them credit for sometimes. If we take the time, break now our life experiences, and share with them in a way they can understand. Give them a before picture and let your current life be the after picture. We adults can be the greatest influence a child will encounter.

August 3, 2017 2 comments

Faith Growing in Every Season

Our Contributor Stephanie Soto Shares About Her Current Status: Spreading Love One Person at a Time

written by Stephanie Soto

What a busy couple of weeks it has been in my life! Between writing my first blog, youth camp and preparing for my second missions trip. I am currently boarding a flight to Miami (followed by a 6 and half hour lay over), then I board my final flight to Santo Domingo. We have so many amazing things planned and I will not share…oh who am I kidding…I will share one thing. BUT, the rest will be saved for when I come back home.

Last year, my team and I traveled to Dominican Republic as our first missions trip as a church. Part of active week was conducting a youth camp along side with a local church in Punta Cana. On one of the days (I cannot exactly remember the specific day), we were notified that a group of girls had arrived to come and participate with us. We were then notified that these girls were rescued from Human trafficking. This year they asked us to come and spend sometime with the girls at the home in which they now reside.

We are so excited that we get to have the opportunity to spend one on one time with these young women. Getting to know them; laughing, sharing stories and just getting to know each other on a personal basis.

My sneak peek of this exciting week ends here because I know that I will have plenty more to share when I return. So for now please keep me and the team in your prayers. Photos and stories will be posted upon my return.

July 6, 2017 1 comment

Faith Growing in Every Season

Seasons: Spring is Here! An Incredible Story of Hope

written by Bernice Crespo

A few weeks ago I had the privilege to sit down with fitness coach and educator Ashley Sanchez. Over a cup of coffee at my favorite park I sat down to hear her story. I hope her amazing story inspires you like it did me.

This is the stuff that dreams are made of, except it didn’t start that way. Sitting in the back of the church, Ashley looks at the seat she’s been sitting in for the past several years on the far left of the church. She lets out a small laugh with some tears as she shares how she now looks at that seat and remembers the prayer she prayed for so long every Sunday while sitting there. A prayer that seemed would never be answered.

In some ways Ashley was in the middle of Spring. She was happily married to the love of her life, a man that in her own words is “the kindest, most faithful, God-fearing man”. Though grateful for all the good in her life, there was that unanswered prayer seemingly mocking her, prodding her, making her wonder if God was really listening at all. While many around her experienced the joy of motherhood, there it was…cold, no leaves on the trees…winter.

Though not every woman desires to be a mother, for Ashley it was something she wanted with all her heart. Since losing her own mother when she was just ten years old she came to appreciate and value mothers. At the tender age of ten, she changed. A growing appreciation for close family relationships and leaning on God began to develop. As she grew she noticed mothers all around her, noting things she felt were great qualities of a mother as well as things she didn’t like. Even then, she knew, she wanted some day to love a child of her own and express through words and actions all the things she kept deeply in her heart.

For six years Ashley and her husband Manny tried to have children. Daily wearing her well known kind smile as a beautiful accessory, she hid to most the inner turmoil that came with each negative pregnancy test. She felt frustrated and depressed and for years it continued to be the same without any changes even after many doctor’s visits and treatments.

Back in the chair on the far left side of the church she constantly prayed that she would get pregnant, never really giving thought to the possibility of anything else. Until one day someone sharing their personal experience at church said the words, “I was praying a selfish prayer”. Selfish prayer? “Oh no”, she reflected, “I’ve been praying the wrong prayer. My prayer has been selfish all along.” That day, Ashley’s prayer changed from “God, help me get pregnant” to “God bless me with a child.”

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Sometime after that prayer changed, unknowingly, what she looked at began to change. Like American philosopher Wayne Dyer once said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” On Thanksgiving Day while spending time with family, her cousin shared of a friend they both knew who was pregnant and had decided she would give up the baby for adoption. Without hesitation Ashley blurts out jokingly, “Absolutely not…I want to adopt that baby!” Just like that, the thing she’d not considered before, came up out of that longing in her heart. Though the conversation didn’t really go further, it was a moment that would change her life forever.

That December, Ashley was contacted by the young woman inquiring if Ashley was really interested in adoption. It was there that unknowingly winter turned into spring. Without notice, the answer to her prayer arrived and after so many years the answer, to her surprise, was yes.

Sitting in the back of the church, Ashley looks at the seat she’s been sitting in for the past several years on the far left of the church. She lets out a small laugh with some tears as she shares how she now looks at that seat and remembers the prayer she prayed for so long every Sunday while sitting there. A prayer that seemed would never be answered. Ashley sits in the back of the church holding baby Noah…the answer to her prayer…her baby boy that has made it clear that Spring is here! Oh Spring! The elusive Spring! Oh how we long for thee! After long winter months, there is simply nothing better than a fresh cool breeze hitting your face. The scents of spring are scintillating and awaken a fresh desire to tackle new things in ways not even the New Year can do. Fresh breeze, fresh flowers! Hail the season of new beginnings! The season of new beginnings has arrived! After all the waiting…it finally arrived.

On my way home from talking with Ashley, my favorite song came on the radio and I sang out loud Lauren Daigle’s song….

When you don’t move the mountains
I’m needing you to move
When you don’t part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When you don’t give the answers
As I cry out to you
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in you

In Ashley’s own words,

God’s plan was not my plan. Prayer, fertility calendars, ovulation tests, checking body temperature, pregnancy tests, supplements, acupuncture, medical tests and procedures, more prayer…that was my plan. However, God had a different plan in mind and it taught me a very valuable lesson. I cannot control everything in my life and my diagnosis of infertility made that abundantly clear. All the acupuncture, fertility supplements and medical treatment that I could control and thought would change my diagnosis of infertility, well it didn’t. I had to release control; eventually I let go and let God. I am so grateful that I did and for every moment of my journey along God’s planned path into motherhood.”

Trust is a funny thing but trust that God does hear and Spring is near. No matter how long winter months can be, Hal Borland’s words ring true, “No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.” The answer may be unexpected and the way it comes may look very differently than what you envisioned. Sometimes, it may even initially be an answer we did not want to hear. I recently heard, “You can’t see the frame when you’re in the picture!” So true! Let the one who sees the whole picture lead the way for you into Spring…whatever that might be!

If Ashley’s story has touched you, please let her know in the comments below or email me a bernice@diapursity.com.

Photo Credit:

Johnson, Cristal L. Spring is Here. 2016. Photograph. New Jersey.
Follow on Instagram @ cristalinaj.

Graphic Design:

Crespo, Marcos.
www.marcoscrespo.com

April 3, 2017 6 comments

Faith Growing in Every Season

Seasons: Beautiful, Harsh, and Unrelenting… Day 2 Winter

written by Bernice Crespo

(Continued from Seasons: Beautiful, Harsh, and Unrelenting – Day 1)

After living in Florida for several years I’ve grown accustomed to the ever unpredictable hurricane season. Although all kinds of predications are made, no one really knows how the hurricane will develop, which route it will really take, and how much damage it will leave behind.

This past October we faced Hurricane Matthew. My husband and children were home while I had just flown out of state. I binged watched the weather channel and constantly texted my husband to check on his progress while he prepared our home. Although we didn’t know exactly what would happen, at least we knew it was coming and prepared as best as possible. I am grateful the storm didn’t hit our area hard and they were kept safe during the storm, however, many people experienced heavy losses during Hurricane Matthew and some are still trying to rebuild.

Storm season.

Have you ever experienced a personal storm? Did you have warning? Did it come unexpectedly? Storm season knocked on my door Thanksgiving morning November 22, 2001.

I woke up to an abrupt knock on the door of the room I was staying in after a long road trip. I was handed the phone and as I answered I heard my oldest brother deliver the unthinkable news that my sister had just passed away. I don’t remember much except collapsing with deep sobs as brokenness consumed me. Loss.

She was gone and my heart and mind didn’t want to accept that she wouldn’t be back, that I would never hear her sing again, that I would now sit by myself at the bookstore wishing she was there with me. She would miss my engagement, my wedding, and the birth of my children. She would miss it all.

The season of loss is by far the hardest for me to come back from. I’ve experienced the loss of loved ones, the loss of friendships I thought were meant to be forever, the loss of opportunities, the loss of confidence and so much more.

Loss leaves you numb.

It steals.

It laughs.

It doesn’t seem to give back.

Anything.

But if you are reading this and are experiencing loss please take a few minutes to read on. For the first few months after my sister’s death, I had to keep reminding myself to just breathe. I wanted to wake up and find out it wasn’t true. Like poet Belinda Stotler wrote, I wondered,

“Shall I wither and fall like an autumn leaf,

From this deep sorrow – from this painful grief?

How can I go on or find a way to be strong?

Will I ever again enjoy life’s sweet song?” (Belinda Stotler, February 2012)

It’s hard to imagine life can carry a “sweet song” again when all you feel is pain. I have to be honest, I’m struggling with explaining that road, the road I walked on from that day forward that has led me here. But I can visibly see the road vividly in my mind. There are words transcribed in the dirt along the paths I took and though I felt so very alone…I see what’s written on them and dates they carry….

November 22, 2001 …

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil;
For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”
Psalm 23 NKJV

I was…

empty and broken
feeling the burn of defeat
powerful words were spoken
that made me feel complete
through my strength wavered
and I questioned God
“the Lord is my Shepherd ”
his Words my heart calmed

I open the notebook with my sister’s words etched in them. Words I had spoken weeks before my sister left us…she writes down the question, “What can I learn in each season? Remember what you have learned about God through all your experiences with Him.”

Deep down I knew we live in a broken world. I’ve never expected perfection from it. But, although I knew that was true in my intellect, it weighed down heavily on my heart. My heart wanted to reject what my intellect believed. Yet, the road was still marked by God’s words:

November 24, 2001

“He restores my soul”

“He restores my soul”, I whispered. How is it possible? Yet God my heart slowly renewed as the long winter months passed. I began to understand what the words of Dr. Larry Crabb describe so well, “God says: I make no promise to protect you from suffering in this world. I do promise the power to believe in my goodness when bad things happen, the power to hope with confidence that a good plan is unfolding when nothing visible supports that hope, and the power to reveal the goodness of My love no matter how distraught or empty you feel.”

As as the days passed something kept bringing me back to life every time life would slip into hues of grey. It was an unwavering peace soothing my soul each time I thought about how God was with me, understanding the pain I felt. I knew He too experienced much loss, losses which as I thought about them, seemed unbearable. I began to think about His ultimate sacrifice so one day all things would be made new. I began to trust even if it didn’t look like what I imagined it would, He still had me and it would be ok.

Loss comes in my forms. You may be experiencing the loss of a friend. After losing a close friend inexplicably during one of the hardest times of my life without any explanation at all, just receiving her silence, I questioned people’s inherent goodness. Perhaps, you are experiencing the loss of your marriage, your dignity, your health, or even your hope. I want you to know you are not alone.

Hold On: If things just simply don’t make sense, just hold on. Hold on knowing He has you and cares. Hold on knowing He will refresh your weary soul. Sometimes, our pain immobilizes us but even there…just hold on. Cling to God first, let Him strengthen you when you can’t find strength anywhere else.

Let Others Be There For You: Although loss can make us turn inward, be open to those around you willing to simply be there. Many may not know what to say or do, but as they try to surround you with support, let them. The day after my sister’s death, my house was full of friends and family arriving, mourning her loss. I didn’t want to be around anyone but one of my best friends along with my fiancé (now husband) simply asked if I wanted to step out for a drive. I don’t remember where we went and I don’t think any words were spoken but I was able to breathe and be left alone in my thoughts. We drove around in silence for a while.

Give Yourself Time to Recover: Healing takes time. At times, even after it has long passed, the thoughts will flood back and you may feel the sting of pain. It’s ok. It doesn’t mean you trust God less, it means you’re human.

Allow Yourself to Laugh and Feel Comfort: As you begin to heal, you will begin to feel joy again. Don’t resist joy. It’s ok to laugh. Think about the people and the simple things that bring comfort and make time for them. For me, reading and writing are comforting. I started picking up encouraging books and gave myself time to think about other things. I especially made sure what I let in my heart was beneficial and helped strengthen me. I also journaled when I needed an outlet. About a month before she went on her last journey, my sister bought me one of the journals I’d being keeping my eye on. As I journaled I began to realize, if I allowed it, her words, her love, her song would live on…and the hope of seeing her again when we meet in eternity need not be my only comfort.

Although it doesn’t always seem like it, seasons do pass and others inevitably come. In each, there is an opportunity to grow. I have learned things about myself and others I could never have learned otherwise. I no longer look for who to blame after my losses. I’m just grateful God chooses to use them for my good even when my heart resists it.

March 5, 2017

“The Lord is my shepherd
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.”

“He restores my soul”

Psalm 23 NKJV

Bernice

bernice@diapursity.com

Works Cited
Crabb, Larry. God’s Love Letters to You: A 40-Day Devotional Experience. Zondervan, 2010.
Stotler, Belinda. “Seasons of Grief”. February 2010.
Bible. New King James Version.

Photo Credit:

Johnson, Cristal L. The Highway Man Came Riding. 2016. Photograph. Allaire State Park, New Jersey.
Follow on Instagram @ cristalinaj.

Graphic Design:

Crespo, Marcos.
www.marcoscrespo.com

March 5, 2017 0 comment

Faith Growing in Every Season

Seasons…Beautiful, Harsh and Unrelenting – Day 1

written by Bernice Crespo

I finally opened up the notebook to see what’s written inside. I’ve been carrying it inside my purse for a week without opening it. The last entry on this notebook is dated November 18th, 2001, fifteen years, two months, and 17 days ago. I reflect with some sadness in knowing that the blank pages that follow it, are a tale of a life cut too short. Four days after her last entry my sister suddenly passed away at the age of 35.

This was her notebook. It doesn’t have many entries but I am surprised by its content. She used it to take sermon notes on Sunday mornings in church. The first entry dated October 28, 2001 is titled “Growing in the Seasons of Life”. The speaker…me. Little did I know that I would desperately need to understand those words in a few short weeks.

I read on remembering that time. The words jump off the page piercing through my heart. I need to hear these words today once again. Thank you Adma for taking notes.

I’ve always enjoyed a quiet confidence. From an early age I was encouraged to try new things, explore my strengths and not be scared by my weaknesses. I remember my friend David once telling me, “Things just seem to keep coming together for you!” I understood what he was trying to say. Although, we were both the same age, his young life had already weathered a lot more storms. However, there is no life lived without its share of storms and soon enough they came .

The loss of my sister shook my core. It brought on a torrent of emotions, questions and fears. Sometimes I felt all of them pounce on me at once. I struggled with the questions that came. I was in my early twenties at the time and enjoyed a beautiful relationship with her. The age difference of twelve years that once impeded deep conversations no longer mattered and we often leaned on each other for advice. We often met at a local bookstore and would flip through our favorite magazines and books then pick out which was the next journal we wished to buy.

I couldn’t understand why her promising life had been cut so short. She had two small children who still greatly needed their mother and I felt she had been gifted by God in more ways that I could count. For one, her voice was amazing! She wrote songs and sang them beautifully. I never tired of hearing her. Her personality! Magnetic! Party in full effect when she arrived! Her heart! Huge! She loved deeply.

After fifteen years…her entries have inspired me to share what I talked about on October 28, 2001 but began living on Thanksgiving morning November 22, 2001.

I know that you who are reading this, have been through many seasons. I wish I had the opportunity to sit with you and hear your personal story. I’m wondering what season you may be in now. Is is fall? Winter? Spring? Summer? Its quite possible that you may be experiencing Spring in one area of your life while experiencing winter in another.

I’ve learned that there is beauty in each season though sometimes it can be hard to see. I didn’t appreciate winters in Connecticut but now I wish I could experience a few snow days down here in the South! The beauty of freshly fallen snow is breath taking and the feelings it brings when you find yourself cuddled up with a good cup of hot chocolate and your favorite book is still a favorite memory for me.

Please join me this week as I share about life’s seasons…I pray it will be a blessing to your life.

Bernice

February 22, 2017 10 comments